A Couple Gets Candid About the Lack of Intimacy in Their Marriage | Book of John Gray | OWN

So, tell me your story. Well, Aaron and I
actually met in high school. During the course of that
time, we got a yearbook. And so I left a
little note in there, and I told her that maybe
one day she’ll be my girl. And what did you think
when he wrote that? I just ignored it, because
I had a boyfriend at the time. But years later,
we got together. She went to Iraq, because
she was in the military. After she got out
of the military, that’s when we took
it to that level. When you’re out on a
deployment, you know, people always say they’re
going to be there for you. And he really was. And there was nothing
for you to do it? No. Talk to me about
where you are right now. T’LIZA: We’re lacking
a lot of romance. AARON: We lost our
spark, our passion. The main issue with
me is, I feel like we don’t have intercourse enough. And when we do have
it, I feel like I’m the one who initiates it. I don’t ever feel like she–
– It’s true. AARON: –like she
wants to do it. But I don’t have the energy. He works nights and I don’t. You could catch me at 4 in the
morning, that would be great. Because that’s about the
time I normally get up. But he doesn’t always
get home at that time. And then he’s a night owl, I’m
tired, I’ve already worked, you know, did dinner,
put Noah to bed, because we have a toddler. And so, you add all
of that together, you’ve got a bucket of hell. I just want to relax. I’m not thinking about sex. AARON: But see, the
problem with that is, I feel like a lot of times she
gives everybody else her time, and then when it
comes to my needs, I’m last on the totem pole. It’s frustrating.

Author Since: Mar 11, 2019

  1. Beautiful couple but mixed their other halfs are missing thats what happens when you try to mirror white couples lol

  2. Cheers for the Video! Apologies for butting in, I would love your initial thoughts. Have you heard the talk about – Millawdon Varied Nights Trick (Have a quick look on google cant remember the place now)? It is a good one off product for learning intimate questions to make your relationship stronger without the headache. Ive heard some decent things about it and my cousin got cool results with it.

  3. This is an unfortunate barrier in many marriages. THIS marriage can recover but they must FIND a very simple but powerful place in their marriage called agreement . The wife must re-center. If you are submitting and serving everyone else but NEGLECT your husband there is something deeper that is unresolved in her . I don' want to judge her but I discern that she is probably the bread winner in the household. This can and will always be a problem until she learn LOVE through submission . He has to be as important to her as she was to him when she was deployed .

  4. I feel like she doesn't wanna be with him but since she doesn't have the courage to tell him she rather put him in a situation where he doesn't like her anymore and he can't take it any longer so he decides to leave her. She basically doesn't wanna take the responsibility of their separation but rather act in a way that pushes him away from her. My opinion ,I don't know them , I just think that's the kinda thing a woman would/could do. which may not be the case here.

  5. You can always get the spark back many couples has done it before. Just like many couples have been married for 20 and 30 years or more …. marriage is commitment and loyalty and work it is not easy. People want to leave when things get tough because media teaches that ppl are replaceable but a lot of times you never get the love back that you had before

  6. Lady I get your tired but you make the time especially for your husband! He is feeling neglected and that can end a relationship! I get both sides and i feel them both but only they can put in the effort to save it and a lot of prayer!

  7. You can tell by her body language she done mentally checked out…want nothing to do wit ole boy lol

  8. If u want a woman to have more sexual energy then help out more around the house or with the kids do the dishes ask her if she needs laundry done anything that’s considered foreplay for us then u can get the booty with the extra energy we have heck it’s not easy but she should make an effort too get a babysitter or something

  9. Hi! I'm T'Liza! I never realized this clip was on youtube. And since i have time I would like to say that Aaron and I are doing great today. Some of you mentioned seasons and thankfully, this particular issue was a season. I really was just about checked out for many reasons, yet the show decided to weigh in on intimacy. As we prepare to celebrate our 6th year wedding anniversary i must say that God has brought us through a lot. I am thankful for the relationship and guidance we have with Pastor John Gray. A marriage takes three, the two of us and God. We are still a work in progress but one thing I have learned about both of us, as hard as it may get, we have yet to truly quit! We have two beautiful children and a comfortable life. Both of us make an effort to insure we are communicating and meeting each others needs. Life gets crazy with kids ( a newborn), our careers, but I have seen us grow through this together. So yes, this was a very tough patch and we were extremely transparent about it. Many couples go through this, some end in divorce and others work it out. God bless you all.

  10. At least they are taking about it. Most and i mean Most Guys would rather cheat before trying to understand her feelings.
    What she won't do another would.sad but true.

  11. I agree with the husband on that one. I think she, like a lot of women, try to be a mom first and wife second and it ends in divorce because the husband feels neglected. And I guarantee you that your child would rather you had put in more effort with their father so that the family could have stayed together than "put them first" by sacrificing all of your energy and acting like a martyr. And the same thing goes for husbands who don't do their fair share of the child care and end up helping to create these exhausted wives. You're both working, so you both should be heavily sharing the child care load and she wouldn't be so exhausted.

  12. let me tell you something when you re into somebody any giving moment you trying rock or his world i think she dont wants him

  13. One of three things going on; an affair,not compatible or withdrawing as a means of punishment for some unresolved issue.

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