D.L. Hughley on Infidelity: I Thought It Was Just “What People Did” | Black Love | OWN


And it wasn’t until a long
time after the first discretion that I was able
to exercise and be heard, like, this is never OK. I never felt like it was bad. I thought men had other women
and, I mean, even in the Bible. I never thought it was a– I thought it was– I never associate it with
being a moral failing. I thought it was kind
of what people did. And when you see the
kind of pain that it causes to somebody, I don’t– I cannot say that
I had an epiphany. I think you run out of wind. There is a way that I am– organically, in a way– I think environmentally I am. But ultimately, I didn’t– I don’t want my legacy
to have been leaving so many people in your wake, so. Yeah. That was what I
started to think.

Author Since: Mar 11, 2019

  1. I love Mr. Hughley for his champion style to life. Honesty is a rare light in this world… And I'm blissful to witness this warrior'S "BECOMING"

  2. Totally disingenuous. He knows darn well the definition of the word “adultery “ . That word is not foreign. So don’t sit up here and like you just thought that’s what people did. And then referenced the Bible but fail to mention they were “wives” and “concubines” that all knew about each other and that was happening way before Christ came in the world.

  3. some men love to refer to the bible for justification of womanizing, cheating on their wife .. cain killed abel so will you do that too!?

  4. You never associated infidelity with moral failing? Bruh, it sounds like you've never loved anyone in your life. Because if you loved someone, and found out they slept with someone else…..you'd be hurt by that. And if you AREN'T hurt by that, then you never loved them to begin with. Or you were already cheating on them yourself. Sad times we live in.

  5. He was young and dumb and he is admitting it. That means there's hope. Cuz I KNOW men who get caught red handed m STILL lie

  6. Oh please D.L., you're much too intelligent for us that have followed your career all of these years to believe that hogwash!
    I low key feel sorry for his wife because he seems to be so nonchalant about it. Maybe she's grown accustomed to this behavior, but it's rather shocking to see him this unemotional about something so serious!

  7. People need to be upfront about who and what they are, and allow another to decide whether or not they want to engage. That's a right that we all have – the right to choose.

    Marriage is not a mandate. People do not have to get married. If you believe infidelity is part of the marriage experience, then let the person you're considering marrying know…so they can decide if they're okay with that.

    Not sure why that's so difficult to do. Nothing worse than finding out the man or woman you married isn't on the same page, regarding the sacredness of physical and emotional intimacy within the marriage relationship.

  8. You can't make excuses for purposely putting your car in someone else's garage, you may not know that I had my mouth open when you farted or you spit on me while you were talking but you know darn well that Anything that GOD starts off with saying "Thou salt Not, is wrong to do, just like Thou shalt not kill (you kill a person), with Adultery you killed your relationship, either way your dead

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  10. Blah, blah,blah. How about I got successful, my options opened up, every now and then I'm a pig and I shouldn't have never gotten married in the first place.

  11. What? What if his wife cheated & used that excuse…I thought it's just what people did. So when he got married he expected his wife to have an ongoing affair AND a child outside their marriage & hide it until she had to tell him??? Yes I know that parts not possible but that's how men get away with it too!

  12. These rich famous men cheat then hold their wife hostage to not be able to speak about it because the husbands "image" might be affected. His wife put up with it because he's the money so he knows she wouldn't leave.

  13. Ok his wife has been in it long enough they are no longer mistresses, they are sister wives, then she says i was not allowed,hmmm, allowed, like she is trained or something, as you can see allowed is a word you use, when someone has control over you, she is brain washed, she talks like it's been feed to her so much that she can recite it like a poem, so he was tried that's why he stop cheating, Where do they get these horrible monsters from, these men are Savages, no respect for your wife, no i stop because what i was doing was hurting my family, nope his reply was am tired i ran out of steam, lol, what the hell.

  14. Wait, what? You didn’t see anything wrong because you thought that’s just what people did??? Was there no discussion about what was expected and acceptable in your marriage?

  15. He even told TMZ that if your gonna cheat, don't get caught. If you watch the whole interview he did on own a few years back, he said monogamy is not natural, he wasn't saying it was a mistake. He even used the Bible to justify cheating.

  16. Wow, not only do we get to see his wife, but this is the first time I think that I have heard her speak! DL loves her but has made mistakes. We are weak perfect people making comments bashing him..

  17. I don't think DL is apologetic enough to his wife. Very arrogant and btw…we are seeing way too much of this couple. Can we get back to Sterling and the others

  18. Wow. This is propaganda to keep black women trapped and acting like perpetual, life-long mules and beasts of burden for unworthy, undeserving, unappreciative black males who HATE them and will never, ever provide anything in return. This has been going on for generation after generation. Go live your best lives LADIES. Recognize the 'black love' propaganda trap for black women when it's right in front of your face – even when it's from OLDER black women like Oprah who SHOULD know better.

  19. Eldridge Cleaver, Black Panthers: "There is no love left between a black man and a black woman. Take me for instance. I love white women and hate black women. It’s just in me so deep that I don’t even try to get it out of me anymore. I’d jump over ten nxxger bxtches just to get to one white woman. Ain’t no such thing as an ugly white woman… and just to touch her long, soft, silky hair. There’s softness about a white woman, something delicate and soft inside of her. But a nxxger bxtch seems to be full of steel, granite-hard and resisting…I mean I can’t analyze it, but I know that the White man made the Black woman the symbol of slavery and the White woman the symbol of freedom. Everytime I’m embracing a Black woman, I’m embracing slavery, and when I put my arms around a White woman, well I’m hugging freedom."

  20. I think people are failing to understand that they were extremely young when they got married. As they say about men maturing later than women, I believe that was probably his experience. I can’t judge his thought process or his upbringing as that all can be a factor in his mentality in his early adulthood. At least he’s being transparent and honest about his own truth. That’s something no one can take away.

  21. Na was a fan of black marriage. Now I just gotta think about it. Screen your lovers whom ever they are, if your attracted to them . Love them

  22. My ex felt the same way…cheating to him was a part of the downside to marriage and not a deal breaker…i gave the ring back

  23. Come on. He knew it was wrong….otherwise he would not have hidden it. You can't tell me no one in his life ever said marriage requires faithfulness. Would he accept that excuse if his wife cheated and got pregnant???

  24. Its wierd how Black Love has so many stories of real marriages surviving infidelity BUT if you watch black sitcoms (Martin, my wife and kids, fresh Prince, family,matters, cosby show) it NEVER happens. I habe so many african american friends who say cheating os UNFORGIVABLE but its crazy how it is so common. I think my,friends just dont realize how,common it is

  25. People know they will take certain things out of the Bible and use it to their advantage. They don't use things like Love Thy Neighbor lend and not borrow, they totally forget about those type of Bible verses. But when it comes to them and they bulshit they know they'll take the Bible and use it to justify their dumbass doings. Take several seats DL and cut the b*****

  26. Ok I can't honestly say 90% OF YALL ONLY HERD WHAT YALL WANTED TO HEAR LMAOO like forget it I know what he was saying

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  29. It's sad that men have more of an issue with infidelity than women. However I've had positive black male role models. There are few men on this earth that don't cheat. My father was one of those black men. My father loved my mother more than my mother loved him. No she didn't cheat. My father wasn't perfect by no means but he definitely loved God and my mother would always say that he was a better Christian than her. She was right. God was in the fore front for my father constantly. My mother always said my father had blinders on like those of a horse because when it came to God, there was no distraction. My father showed it in his conduct, hard working, mild but not weak – was from the country :). My dad would share his beliefs with others, call my mom Baby and gave me wet kisses. No he wasn't brought up in a family that was close because his parents died when he was young. However he learned it over the years to the best of his ability. I also have uncles that don't cheat and have never cheated on their wives. There are a few out there but hard to find.

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