Killah News


Sup dog Killah News©, hittin’ it live boi. Ya’ll player hatin’ on us ’cause we tell it how it is That’s right, Jerry Let’s get right into the news But first, let’s hear a wa-erd from are sponsors Computers, computers, and more computers for all you computering needs Come on down to Computers, Computers, and Computers Buy five monitors, get one tower half-price 5% off (?) Come on down and get cables for FREE No payment necessary. WOW! Are you constantly working in safe mode? Well come on down, out tech-savvy people will help you on out Let’s come on down to 55555 Computers, Computers, and Computers Rockaway Highway. New York, New York Later Also recently, at a meet the press conference, Donald J Trump mooned an audience of over 30,000 people After losing the election due to lack of voting. According to Bernie Sanders he says: “I was just chillin’, smokin a J dawg, when I saw my main man moon the crowd. I was like ‘Bro’ And he flipped me the bird” Says Bernie Sanders after rolling a tight dope spliff, and keeping it real. I feel bad for any T-trump Supporters now, Roger … My wife used to be a Trump Supporter Until, uh, she handed me the divorce papers And then she got the house… ..And she got the kids… … A-and then she got the dog… She got everything SHE GOT IT ALL SHE TOOK EVERYTHING FROM ME! SAUNDRA! SAUNDRA! SAUNDRA! WHY…! Killah New! Get money, get news. We’ll be right back after this commercial break. Yo. Yo, yo. It’s Lil’ Weezy right here. Lil’ Wayne Lil’ Wayne yaw. Yo, I got- I got orange jui- I drink orange juice! Yeah, I’m Little Wayne and I like orange juice, buy this orange juice right here Yo, everything you see right h- Look, watch me drink the orange juice. Yo, that’s so good, Ima’ have another glass. Yo. Yeah, this is orange juice right here, boi. Yeah, I like orange juice. I’m little Weezy, I’m little Wayne. I like orange juice. Buy Clemintine Orange Juice, boi. Yeah, Weezy out. Ahh. Oh my god! I’m so random! Oh, Febreeze… You can forget about toothpaste, ’cause with Febreeze 2.0 you can clean just about anything. You can clean you phone balance… …your house morgage… …even your police records… Buy Febreeze 2.0 so you can clean yourself a new slate Go to DanielMingle.com so you can find your match, man. I found my tasty waves. Woah! Hey, I’m Ethan Bradberry! Go to DanielMingle.com Hey, my name is Tom, and I met sis at DanielMingle.com Go to DeWall-DanielMingle.com for yout free 30-day free trail today. The names Greg. Who is this guy? Security! No! I’m Greg! (Creepy smile) (That background music tho) (Still going) Okay… Almost… I love glasses! There’s glasses everywhere! There’s glasses there, there, and there, and everywhere! I love glasses! GLASSES! Buy my glasses! (So you can get awesome! Uhhh) Glasses. So you can get awesome! (Delayed awesome because I suck ass) Hello everybody, and welcome to the news. I’m Joel. Otherwise known as A- My name is Joel! Otherwise known as Angry Joel… I’m not angry, it’s just JOEL! I’m not even angry! When the ADHD catches up to you Okay Well, since the new Anchorman is the new replacement for Roger We will not be -bu- Roger ’cause sadly Roger died of an Alcohol overdose last night Thinking of his about his wife Saundra. We looked a bit into his medical records And figured out that he was delusional. He never had a wife. There is no Saundra. He never even had a house. Or a dog… Nobody really knew him…except for us… On a lighter note, to Josh with the weather. Yo, son. ‘Sup? Hella sunshine out there, boi. Should be great for vacation, especially for traveling, dawg. And over here is about to be mad fire, ‘cuz Kendrick Lamar ’bout to drop his new mixtape Friday. See ya then holmes. Peace! Now back to more Killah News. I’m afraid that Joel was also found to be unfitting for this news station. So, I present to you the very end of Killah News. We can no longer afford our broadcasting due to Joel destroying more than half of our equipment. Also, I present to you, the very last of me. Because I quit being a news anchor. I ain’t tripping, dawg. I just want more in life. I wan’t IST *Cue gangsta music* That’s pretty wild, huh? Yeah, you bet your socks it was wild. You can go now.

Author Since: Mar 11, 2019

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  2. Hahaha, omg xD This is genius! Really takes me back to my high school days when my friends and I made very similar school projects like this. It was probably as awkward as this, yet extremely fun to make, which I also think these guys thought about making their video, you can tell their about to laugh several times, and thats good! Nothing is better than having fun with a school project that you have to do anyway 🙂

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