Life Update & Currently Reading (cc)


Hey everybody! Welcome to my channel or
welcome back. I’m Kylie and today we are gonna just do, hopefully a quick life
update and then like what I’m currently reading, and what I’m planning– what I’m
working on. Things I’m planning. um okay so I’m gonna dive into my life update. I
have like prepared because I don’t want to ramble on. It has been a really hard
couple of months. yeah so I have like I think I mentioned in a couple of like
vlogs, videos that went up in December, that there’s been a lot of like family
drama and I I’m not really gonna get deep into that because that could be its
whole other video… but basically what I have to say to anyone who’s watching
this video is that if someone is abusing you or someone you love in any way you
absolutely have the right to cut that person out of your life completely and
unapologetically. Okay? I know this. I know that, that’s okay. My sister knows that
that’s okay and most of my friends that I’ve spoken to about with it like
completely agree with me. but… almost all of my family would disagree. There’s a
situation in my family where basically I am being villainized for choosing to do
this. It has been very difficult. I don’t know if my relationship can ever be the
same again with people who have dismissed my emotions, acted like I am
unreasonable and ridiculous, and straight-up told me that I
have ruined Christmas, or I am ruining Christmas. and all I’m doing is
protecting myself, and my children, and my other loved ones from someone who is an
abuser. It has been incredibly stressful and upsetting and the drama has
completely bled over into the new year. I just wish that things were different but
basically certain members of my family are committed to not understanding and
they basically refuse to accept my decision. Continue to question it and to
pressure me to change my mind. I’m just I’m tired. I’m just tired and– but you
know what? Despite all of that my sister and I had an amazing Christmas at my
house with my kids and my ex. My grandparents came over for a few hours. Easily the best Christmas of my adult
life. I’m pretty sure I can say that. like it was so chill, so relaxing. We did like
a little turkey dinner with mashed potatoes and carrots. like just chilled
out at home. yeah Christmas and Christmas Eve with my sister and my kids
and everything this year it was great. It was so good like no regrets at all.
That’s not the only thing that’s going on…
I am extremely unhappy with my job, my career right now.
I am seriously considering like a major change. I… I don’t know what I’m gonna do
or if I’m gonna do anything but I’m unhappy. Finances are tight so I have to
consider that in any of my decisions, obviously.
Also been fighting a lot with my kids dad. It’s just– there’s a lot. It’s a lot.
It’s very stressful. I’m very tired. I am really hoping that this is just like the
winter blues right now but honestly I have never wanted to drastically and
severely change my life like more than I do right now. I honestly feel like I want
to take my kids and move to the UK. Move to a different country. Completely start
over. A new job, like new… new people, new culture like just start over. I’m really
trying not to make impulsive and rash decisions right now… but if I still
feel this way in the spring you are gonna see major changes happening in my
life. and okay one more kind of sad thing and then I’ll stop being depressing. I am
no longer going to bookcon this year. I thought I was going to go but the whole
point of going to bookcon was for me to meet my friends. and my two best friends,
Shelbi and Zoe, they both are gonna be just not able to
go financially. So I mean I could still go but I don’t really want to go without
them. They’re like my ride or dies and I– I do have lots of other friends in
the book community that probably will be going but I don’t think there’s anything–
and excuse me– I don’t think that there’s anyone that I would feel comfortable
like rooming with and hanging out with like as much as I would them. and I
really just want to see them more than anyone. They’re not gonna go so I’m not
gonna go. BUT maybe, hopefully I am going to go to
the UK instead but like in September for my
birthday. This is not for sure but if I can make it work out that’s what I want
to do. and I would see– I would see some of my bookish friends over there in
Europe. I would stay with Zoe, I would see Abi, maybe Nicole, Taylor is also
going to be in Europe. yeah I would have an opportunity to see like a handful of
my bookish friends. so hopefully I can make that work out obviously it’s not
for sure. That’s really far away and money is always an issue but I’m gonna
do everything that I can to make it work because I really want to go. Another like
really good positive thing is that about three weeks ago I started a keto diet
and I’m doing really good with it. like I am honestly, the first week was really
hard. I was sick, I felt like crap like the whole week. and I was like having
sugar withdrawals and everything like that.
Sorry… for anyone who doesn’t know, keto is like no carbs, no sugar and it’s like
a high-fat diet. so you can basically eat meat, you can eat like… low sugar low
carb vegetables um lots of cheese lots of bacon
yeah like that and so um yeah like I said I’ve been doing it for three weeks.
I’ve lost about five inches off my waist. About… what is it… about three inches on
my hips and 20 pounds altogether. so yeah I’m gonna keep doing it. My– my kind of
goal is to do it like until– until I go to the UK in September. Assuming that I
go. It’s a diet that I’m going on to lose weight and you know curb my sugar
addiction and things like that and then hopefully once like I get to like a
weight that I’m more happy with then I’ll switch back to like a just like a
normal healthy diet that includes carbs and lots of vegetables and balance and
things like that. so but so far it’s going really good and I’m really happy
with it. okay, reading update. okay today is… this is the 30th? it’s Thursday the
30th I think, so there’s just today and tomorrow left in January.
and so for for my January reads I have been working on “City of Ashes” for two
weeks. All the stress that I’ve been under due to like all those situations
have definitely led me into a reading slump. I’ve never been in an audiobook
reading slump before but like I haven’t even really been listening to very many
audiobooks. so it’s taking me a while to get through this one. I think I have like
a hundred and fifty ish pages left… 160. so that means I need to hurry up and
finish this because I want to read 80 pages tonight so that I can finish it tomorrow.
80 pages tonight 80 pages tomorrow and that should finish it. I am buddy reading
this with Taylor and somehow like she is also not done yet. so we are really like
on the same wavelength with this buddy read. I also have this one– “Death Note
Black Edition volume 2” by Tsugumi Ohba and it’s I’ve had it out from the
library for almost nine weeks now. it’s due back on February 4th and I cannot
renew it anymore. I felt like so so about Death Note 1 so I am just trying out
this one and basically if I don’t like it I’m DNFing this series and I’m
not gonna continue because there’s I think seven of these and they’re thick
boys. Yeah so that’s where… I’m hoping to finish this today and tomorrow as well.
by the end of January. then it is currently reading but kind of not
really this was this um “India in slow motion” by Mark Tully was on my list of
books that I need to either read or unhaul by the end of 2020. and it’s all
like not what I thought it was gonna be about and it’s my fault because like I
like to go into books blind so I don’t really read sypnosis’s but like this… okay
“India in slow motion” that’s talking about the economy and that’s not really… I was
kind of hoping for like a book just like about India. like I’m always
interested in other cultures. but this is more about like basically why… why Indian
culture–no why India isn’t like more rich of a country or more progressed, I
guess? I’m not sure. I only got to like page 16 it looks like. so I feel like
that’s not enough to DNF it. For me like I want to read at least like 50 pages of
it before I decide I’m gonna DNF it. so I’m probably not gonna get to this in
the next two days but maybe I’ll force myself in February… like in-between books…
to like read another 10 pages or so of this
and then maybe by the time I’m done February I’ll have a decision on like
what I’m gonna do with this. So those are ones that I want to finish in the next
couple days. and then on Saturday it’s February. so February I’m doing blackathon and VaLITine’s and so I’m just… I’m trying to mostly all read books by
black authors. just for blackathon. they don’t necessarily fit the prompts of
blackathon, which I found them to be a little bit difficult this year but
that’s okay. so I have a short one. I like to start off the month with short ones
because then it makes me feel accomplished like woohoo I read a book
in the first two days. so this is “The Deep” by River Solomon and from what I
understand from Jesse talking about this on their Channel Bowties and Books
is that this is… is it called like afrofuturism? or this is like what if
African people like on the slave ships… that fell– that fell overboard that jumped??
overboard like when they’re being taken across the water– the ocean. What if they
didn’t die? What if they like basically turned into merpeople and lived and
created like a society like under the water? so I think that’s what it’s about
so it’s yeah but it’s just short one so hopefully just get through it pretty
quick. let’s see how many pages it is. oh yeah 163 yeah I should be able to
knock that out… I mean if it’s riveting probably read it
in one day. I’m excited about that one. then okay
“American Street” by Ibi Zaboi I like to go into books blind. I think I’ve already
said that like three times in this video. so I don’t know what it’s about anymore
but I have put this on like three TBR’s in 2019 like I need to
just read this. so after “The Deep” I’m picking up this right away and I’m just
gonna do it. like I don’t know why– I bought this last year in the spring and
I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Maybe it’s just– I don’t know I’m sure it’s
gonna be great. It has like an award sticker, like lots of people like it, it’s
highly rated. so it’s just time for me to do it. I don’t know what’s stopping me.
and then I’m gonna go into “On the Come Up” and then once I am done those
three I have some buddy reads, I have my book club pick which is not by an
african-american or a black author but we did read Talia Hibbert in January so
forgive us. but we’re gonna be reading Pucked
by Helena hunting which is my pick. In the book club what we are reading the first
three months are the three hosts favorite– current favorites smuts.
so Shelbi’s pick was oh my god “Get a life, Chloe Brown” which
we’ve read for January. and Shelbi and Zoe have not read “Pucked” before so I
said well let’s read that in February. then in March, Zoe’s favorite is called
“the flatshare” and Shelbi and I have not read it
so we’ll be reading that in March. and then I’ll probably do a video just
wrapping up the experience for the first quarter. For my channel what you can
expect is… this videos going up on a Sunday, before it you will have seen a
bookish game video that I did with my daughter. That w– that will go up
tomorrow and then the weekend after that… because I have been so stressed I have
not not only have I not felt like reading but I have also not felt like
filming or or planning. I’ve not felt very creative. I want to start doing more
book reviews but I don’t feel like doing the work that’s involved in doing a good
book review. Which is making like all your notes ahead of time and thinking
about what you want to say so… but I remembered that this time last year I
filmed– in one night I filmed five very short book reviews. I had this idea that
I was going to do five minute book reviews and I only ever posted one of
them and then I went on my hiatus. Which– which says something like I felt like
crap last year at this time too so hopefully it is just like kind of like a
seasonal depression kind of thing. like I don’t actually– I don’t have diagnosed
depression but like I know a lot of people feel really down
this time of year and I’m just really hoping that that’s what it is and then
I’m going to start to feel better when the days start to get longer and there’s
more sunshine and warm weather and things like that. but anyways so I’m
going to take advantage of those four videos that are already filmed. I’m going
to pull those out of the archives and edit them and it’s gonna be an archived
review weekend and I’m gonna post one on Thursday Friday Saturday and Sunday that
first weekend of February. or I guess the second weekend of February. then I have…
I’ll do my… you’ll see my wrap-up. My January wrap-up. oh my gosh then you’ll
see my January wrap-up. and I’m gonna do something fun for Valentine’s Day
because Valentine’s Day is my normal posting day on a Friday. so I’m gonna do
like a some sort of fun video for Valentine’s Day. and then on the Sunday
will be my wrap-up and then after that I don’t know. Hopefully I’ll– in that time
I’ll do some work and I’ll do– I’ll get some reviews for some more current
things that I’ve read but also hopefully I’ll have got over my reading slump and
I’ll have read a lot in February so I’ll be able to maybe do some more content
with that. also I know Blackathon has some video challenges. VaLITine’s might
have some video challenges too and I’m also thinking about maybe vlogging. but I
don’t know because I’ve been feeling so like crap and I feel like nobody wants
to watch that but I might try. okay this video is already like 7 minutes longer than I
wanted it to be and I don’t think there’s a lot to cut so we just got to
cut it off thanks for coming. thanks for watching.
thanks for watching the whole thing if you got this far. like and subscribe to
see more from me and that’s all I have for you today. Bye.

Author Since: Mar 11, 2019

  1. I'm sorry to hear it's been a rough couple of months and I hope things start to getting better for you.
    Congrats on losing the weight. I'm trying to lost weight myself. I want to lose 50 pounds this year. Maybe more if I can.

  2. Yay for UK trip! ;D I hate how bad you've had it recently, I love you so much and you deserve the best and it WILL get better <3 I'm so proud of you for sticking to the diet, you're my inspiration haha. So excited for Pucked!

  3. Sorry to hear about your family troubles, I have had to distance myself from family for my own mental wellness as well. It does get easier, and it sounds like you have a great support system with your friends. My husband and I also adopted Keto this year and are loving the results so far. Keep on looking out for you!!

  4. I'm sorry things are hard with your family right now, but it's wonderful you have the support of your sister. Good luck with continuing keto and hopefully you can make that UK trip happen!

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