News Smash: Trump’s Impeachment, Putin’s Press Conference, The Rise of Skywalker, Xmas Weed

-Guys, there’s so much
going on right now. Today, the President of
the United States was impeached. Over in Russia,
Vladimir Putin is about to have his big year-end
press conference. The movie “Star Wars:
Rise of Skywalker” comes out tomorrow. And a man at a Nashville airport
got busted with 84 pounds of weed wrapped
like Christmas presents. There’s a lot to go over. Let’s just jump in
and cover it all at once. It’s time for a “News Smash.” ♪♪
[ Cheers and applause ] [ Ding ] -First, President Trump
got impeached today, and he’s not happy about it. He wrote an angry letter,
sent hundreds of tweets, and shouted at his staff. He needs to chill out. And you know what’s great
for chilling out? Christmas weed. 84 pounds of it was found
wrapped like presents at the airport in Nashville. That’s enough weed
to get you really high. So high that you end up in a galaxy far, far away. The new “Star Wars” movie
hits theaters tomorrow, and there are so many questions
left to be answered. Will Luke come back?
Will Kylo Ren win? Will Rey change course and cross
over to the dark side? Tomorrow, Putin is holding
his annual press conference, where he talks to reporters
for hours. But no matter what
he does or says, there’s no way
he’ll ever be impeached. Trump is furious. He spent the day yelling
at his staff and tweeting while
he laid on the couch. If he’s not careful,
he could end up looking like Jabba the Hutt. Now, that was a character. He loved sitting around all day,
eating snacks, kind of like someone
who loves Christmas weed. When you get busted at
the airport for your Christmas cheer, your Christmas cheer
turns into Christmas fear. If you’re a reporter in Russia, that’s what you feel looking
in Putin’s eyes. Ask the wrong question,
and you could go missing. You could disappear,
just like Jar Jar Binks. We won’t see him
in the new movie and we won’t see
Baby Yoda either. And when fans find out there’s
no little Baby Yoda, J.J. Abrams
is gonna get impeached. So, in conclusion,
may the force be with you. May the Senate be with you. [ Russian accent ]
Don’t worry. I’ll be with you. May the 420 be with you. [ Cheers and applause ] Thank you. Well, guys, today,
the House of Representatives officially voted to
impeach President Trump. Of course, it’s a dark stain
on his legacy, but on the bright side,
Trump finally managed to win a popular vote. That’s right. Trump’s allies are worried
about the stain that the impeachment
will leave on his legacy. Although, when a guy wears
that much spray tan, I don’t think he cares about
the stains he leaves behind. Yep, today,
Trump became the third U.S. president to be impeached. It was Bill Clinton in 1999,
Andrew Johnson in 1868. And this is crazy. Back in 1868, Andrew Johnson
was also impeached for trying to dig up dirt
on Joe Biden. -Really? -Yeah, what happened today
is historic, and experts are saying
that this is what we’ll remember most about 2019. Then Americans
were like, “Oh, come on. Have you seen Baby Yoda?
Come on.” But Democrats are saying
that it’s a sad day and that they’re in mourning. Some members actually
wore black, while, out of respect,
Chuck Schumer lowered his glasses
even further down his nose. Trump sent dozens of
angry tweets all day. He even tweeted that Democrats
are the ones breaking the law, writing, “How can they do that,
too, and, yet, impeach a very successful
economy plus President of the United States?” Economy plus? You’d think Trump would at
least refer to himself as business class. -Yeah.
-And this was everywhere. -Economy.
-[ As Trump ] I’m economy plus. I’ll take an emergency exit row.
There’s more leg room. -[ As Trump ]
I need the tie room.” -[ Normal voice ]
This was everywhere. During the debate,
a Republican Congressman compared Trump to Jesus. I don’t know. If Trump were Jesus, I’m pretty
sure we’d have seen him turn water into
Diet Coke already, right? Of course, last night,
Trump also sent a six-page letter to
Nancy Pelosi, ranting about impeachment,
the Democrats, and pretty much everything
on his mind. And, today,
he’s even more upset, because Nancy Pelosi
just wrote back, “K.” All day, I saw that
“merry Impeachmas” was trending on twitter. But to make sure everyone
felt included, Democrats were also saying
“happy Donakkah.” -Yeah. -Meanwhile,
during the impeachment vote, Trump actually held
a campaign rally in Michigan,
at the Kellogg Arena. You could tell Trump
enjoyed the Kellogg Arena when he fired Rudy Giuliani
and replaced him with the law firm of
Snap, Crackle, and Pop. I saw that someone
in Ohio just won the $372 million
Mega Millions jackpot. The winner is thrilled, while
the guy who gave him the ticket for Secret Santa just walked
into the ocean. And, finally, I read that
kids are now using money apps instead of
piggy banks. Money apps. It’s gonna get weirder when
kids tell the Tooth Fairy, “Just Venmo me.” Guys, we have a great show.

Author Since: Mar 11, 2019

  1. Every single news outlet in Russia is owned by Putin. The questions at his annual scam are scripted. Trump wants the same.

  2. Have you ever thought , in this bogus impeachment process that the entire world is watching ? Just think they are probably saying “look at this sh** , Americans are trying to oust a sitting president due to the FACT that the Democratic Party has hatred that their candidate didn’t win ? Wake up , it’s been 3 years of manipulation of our constitution! You have media outlets , protesters, and witnesses that have as much credibility as Joseph Stalin in his regime! I hope the people that are responsible for these actions get everything plus some that is coming to them !

  3. I,m warming up to BIDEN he looked good last night. I THINK he's got the best chance to beat TRUMP, and his best choice to run with him…. Globachar,

  4. Sorry.. but Trump is a complete embarrassment to all current (save a couple who are just as bad, if not worse) and past leaders on Earth.

    All of you who support him are braindead. Figure it out.


    F**k sakes.

  5. You are only big joke. Donald Trump, did for America more, than any president before and this is true. You only joke about someone, but the reality is that you are the biggest joke.

  6. Biden threatened to withhold 1 and a half billion US dollars in forigne aid, unless the man investigating his son was sacked. Hunter (glass BBQ) Biden was gifted 50,000 dollars a month in a job he was not qualified for, thanks to daddy.

  7. It is not official until the House vote/ Articles are submitted to the Senate. Until then it is "Business as Usual" Impeachment Lite,"Trump 2020".

  8. Colbert, Kimmel, Fallon, and the losers on The View are all Communists advocating the overthrow of a duly elected President. If you believe this is entertainment, you’re the problem in America.

  9. Uh. "Trump has not been Impeached. Change my mind" they voted to impeach but since the articles of impeachment have not been delivered, he has not been Impeached yet.

  10. How on earth did this nitwit get his own show? All he did on SNL was laugh at everything (ie Debbie Downer) and had absolutely zero memorable moments. Plus, why is he the highest paid of ALL late-night hosts. Unbelievable😠👎🏾

  11. Trump will be your President for 5 more years ! The coup has already failed ! Pure Deepstate desperation ! It’s hilarious you Libtards can’t recognise Propaganda when you are feasting on it !

  12. Americans Canada British Columbia has Presidential weed,, they call the new strain, Trump Tower cristal haze, careful if u smoke it do not inhale that strain, just the smell will knock u to your knees, not for children under 24 years old, ya that strong, all federal taxes and laws applicable, unless you get The Pardon insurance, you never know? good to have they say? but who am I?

  13. The real trial, with actual lawyers and witnesses will exonerate then acquit president Trump, while simultaneously exposing Hillary and Obama's disastrous mismanagement of the Afghanistan war that cost us 2 trillion dollars and 2400 soldiers. The corrupt few at the FBI.
    Last, but not least, tweedledee and tweedledum; Joe and Hunter Biden for actual bribery charges with Ukraine.
    It will be, unequivocally, the most delicious, satisfying trial of the century. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐


  15. Disney butchered star wars SO badly that it breaks records!

    1) It's the first star wars movie I have no interest in going to see.
    2) It's the first movie in my entire life where I don't care about spoilers.

  16. Переведите и покажите это россиянам 🙂 Что Путина прозвали "темной стороной", "злом" и т..п )))

  17. Trump is so paranoid a cockroach is a big deal but hasn't the courage to smash it just tweet about it the coward's way out !

  18. You know Jimmy you’re going to be a has been sooner or later and then we’re all going to laugh at you the laugh will be on you you’re an imbecile you have no class whatsoever I can’t wait for the day when you become that has been I am going to laugh my ass off👎😳👎PSYour jokes about marijuana aren’t funny at all I have a daughter who’s been teaching school for over 25 years she’s a master teacher she can really tell you some stories about marijuana how it affects the children who are smoking out with their parents they can’t learn a damn thing yes I country sells out for money because money is the root of all evil if there’s a dollar to be made everyone will turn their backs on things that aren’t right just to get that dollar in your pocket just like you someday your kids will grow up and I hope they don’t get on pot because I don’t think you’ll be laughing it off just like most Hollywood kids they turn the pot Coke booze and they don’t even know if they’re boys or girls you people confuse your own children believing there’s something that they’re not so my guess is I will get the last laugh on you because you’re one dumb shit you’re not funny whatsoever👎🤪👎

  19. it is because the peapole in the office are crying like todlers and plus if hillary did somthing like trump she would not get a scratch

  20. Its being said Trump,. Putin, Turkey, Saudi are all part of an international money laundering ring, and protect each other to stay in power.
    They all are hacking us to try keep Trump in power to exploit our country for the entire money laundering ring. If so, it smells like high treason.

  21. Well they went about it the wrong way they should have gave him a peach and a pack of mints for Christmas and said you're fired LMAO

  22. You guys are still lucky cause over here in Malaysia you would be sentenced to death by hanging . Anything more then 15grams of heroin or 200 grams of weeds can send to the gallows.

  23. Any American that watched Putin Denounce the impeachment and think Trump is innocent of wrong doings must seriously ponder their own patriotism as Americans.

  24. One thing he did not win the popular vote he got 2 million LESS than Hilary. He won the electoral vote because of Jerry meandering, just like George Bush did.

  25. Libtards celebrated a 3 year long impeachment process that didn't and isn't gonna do shit in their favor. In case you were trying to forget… he's still there and he's still your president. Deal with it snowflakes.

    TRUMP 2020!

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