The One Habit That Is Changing My Life

Hi friends and welcome to this video. I am wearing at the moment a bunch of jewelry that I bought at the, kind of, secondhand market that we have in our town and I don’t know. I’m feeling really really cool right now because I really love buying things secondhand and vintage and this is supposed to be like a 60s necklace. I don’t know. It’s just really cool the fact that they’ve been used. I don’t know it adds a lot of character to the thing itself and it’s also you know helping the planet not produce more things that we don’t need. So in this video I wanted to talk about this new practice that I have integrated into my path and for those of you who are new here or who don’t know I am a pagan witch. So this is something that I do within my pagan and witchy practice basically. I just wanted to make a disclaimer at the beginning of this video saying that I’m not sure that this is something that will be beneficial to everyone, I think that each of us has specific needs and specific problems. It’s something that’s useful for me, but I’m not sure that it’s gonna be perfect for everyone. That’s what I wanted to say. In my case, I am a person that’s very critical of myself. In the past I have rarely received praise for the things that I really really loved. I was kind of the golden child in the family, so this might seem counterintuitive but yeah, I was praised a lot for things like being, you know good at school and I was praised for being basically a quiet child, which I’m sure you can see the implications of this. I was praised for you know being able to listen, listen to adults, listen to my parents, and I was all around a pretty pretty, you know, low maintenance child because I was you know I was an introvert and I was quiet. And I naturally am those things so I was kind of lucky in that regard but definitely my family situation exacerbated those specific things and I struggled with this for a really really long time because you know, I was just praised for not having opinions basically and in my family having opinions and being loud and being you know a rebel was something that you simply could not do so I kind of repressed that part of me for a long time. On the other hand my passions and creativity was either not seen at all in my family or you know acknowledged in weird ways. I never really got validation for all the things that I you know, used to love to do. I used to spend time alone in my room and have a grand old time drawing and singing I remember I used to sing a lot, I used to write. Those things weren’t really acknowledged in a proper way. All that to say that I don’t have a really healthy relationship with myself and with my creative self, which is my most prominent self basically. I could spend all day just doing creative stuff and this is kind of the point that I wanted to make. The fact that people didn’t praise me or validate for the things that I loved doing transferred to the fact that I didn’t praise myself or validate myself. I think praise is not the right word. And so, you know, every time I do something now and in the past every time I used to do something creative I didn’t have that you know that happiness that I used to feel when I was very very little and because I was used to people pointing out flaws or being disappointed with the things that I loved doing. So I did the same thing to myself and this is something that even though I’ve been working on it for a long time, I’ve never really like tackled head on. It’s something that I’m starting to do like properly only right now. So if you’re someone that’s very critical of yourself that can’t enjoy the things that they do or they make because they’re too critical and they can only see the negative side of the things that they make, this might be for you. So this is something that I have encountered in my you know pagan path and it’s something that is very very known in spiritual communities and new-age communities and it’s the concept of a Gratitude Practice. Now, gratitude practices are not just something that is very woo-woo and spiritual and magical. it’s something that is also used in psychotherapy… branches in some psychotherapy branches. It’s something that science and psychology use as well because they have seen the results of it and they have seen that it has a positive effect on mental health. But a lot of witches integrate it in their spiritual practice just because it’s so useful and I’ve had a very very difficult relationship with gratitude practices and self-love practices in general just because you know, it’s hard for me. It’s very very hard for me and I feel awkward and creeped out. I don’t know. I feel like it’s because of the way I’ve grown up and I feel like it’s more logical to be hard on yourself. It’s more logical that you see your flaws so that you can improve on them and that’s just bullshit honestly, like it’s nice that I can see the flaws in what I do more than other people can, but it kind of it stifles my whole creative life. It’s something that has been so hard for me and it’s something that doesn’t allow me to have fun in my creative endeavors. But in this video I wanted to talk about… This is a very long video. I wanted to talk about a different kind of practice because I’m gonna explain to you now what, kind of, gratitude practice is generally speaking A Gratitude Practice is a practice where you sit down or you take a moment to concentrate on the things that are positive in your life and bring you joy in your life. So for example you have a home where you can sleep and you have food that can eat and you have friends that are nice to you and support you and stuff like that and you have a nice family. But I still feel very awkward with this kind of practice. I don’t feel good about this practice and I have done this in the past when I was very very very very very very depressed. I was at a very very low point in my life the lowest point up until now I’d say. And I remember I used to make lists. I had this notebook where I would write lists of things that were like beautiful and that I had witnessed that day. That kind of helped me because you know, I used to get distracted from my own suffering basically, but it didn’t solve anything. It might be useful, but it doesn’t kind of solve core problems. And another problem that I see with this kind of practice is that it’s kind of weird because you say thank you for things that you yourself didn’t bring into your life. You were just born with like you know, the money that you have and the house that you have and the family that you have. Saying thanks for that seems kind of weird to me just because there are people that don’t have those things and what should they be grateful for? I’m not sure. And it brings into the conversation stuff about being in the present moment for me because I think that the best thing that we can do is appreciating the the stuff that we have without making an effort to feel super grateful about them I don’t know the fact that I have to feel grateful when stuff happens kind of distracts me from the fact that stuff is happening and that I should feel like naturally happy. I don’t have to be… like I don’t have to force myself to feel more grateful than I am and grateful to what or to who I don’t know. I guess you can make a case for being grateful to the universe or God if you believe in those things but I think that every human deserves good things in their lives, and they shouldn’t like stop at every moment to kind of say thank you to this force. I don’t know. I don’t feel I don’t feel right with this at all. So I have made up a new kind of gratitude practice that to me makes absolutely sense. And I’m not sure it exists already in the world, probably yes. But yeah, it’s something that I have come up with myself. This totally makes more sense to me, and I think it’s very very useful to change the wiring of our brains when we react to what we do. It’s a way to be a lot more loving with ourselves and being less critical of ourselves. So this gratitude practice, here we are! Finally. Is about taking a moment in your day, and it doesn’t have to be you sitting down and writing or it doesn’t have to be you at your altar, if you don’t do that kind of stuff. It can be you just taking a moment in your day while you’re going to work and take a moment to say thank you to yourself for the things that you have done. For example, I do this at the end of each week. Throughout the week I just let my thoughts, my negative thoughts, you know run wild. I let myself be critical and stuff like that but at the end of which week I have this ritual, and a ritual is something that you repeat each time and is similar each time so that’s what I’m talking about. And I sit down and I light a candle and I concentrate on the things that I have done that week and that were like maybe difficult for me, and that were maybe brave for me to do, and for example I tell myself, you know, I’m so fucking proud of you for the things that you have tried to do this week. I am so proud that you have made that video which was really difficult and you were so scared. But you know, you did it! And even if it didn’t have the response that you were hoping for the fact that you’ve done it is so so cool. It’s so cool. People were maybe against it and people were not happy with it. It’s cool as you have followed yourself and your heart. So that’s the kind of conversation that I would have with myself and if you can’t bring yourself to do it or if you can’t imagine yourself doing it you can think of it as talking to a friend that you love so much and that you want to see succeed. So don’t think about someone that you disagree with, don’t think about someone that you envy. Even if you have to just imagine it because you don’t have those kinds of friends in your life right now… But just imagine talking to someone that you really really love and you want to support you want to give your blessings to and you want to give your love to and you want to make them see that they can do it and you want to make them see how much of an amazing person they are because you can see that but they can’t. And so that’s how you should talk to yourself. There are perhaps people that are not ready to do this and I totally get it and that think that this might be silly or you know, awkward and embarrassing or stuff like that. I get it and you know, you can just not do it. Whatever. But think about this if you think that talking to yourself as you would talk to a dear dear friend of yours is awkward and embarrassing… think about what is your state of mind right now? Why do you think that, because it shouldn’t be that way I think. I think we should talk to ourselves how we would talk to a friend because we should be friends with ourselves. Also, I wanted to touch on you know some possible criticism towards this practice. For example people could say you shouldn’t be praising yourself because you don’t know if you did something right. You don’t know… you might have done something wrong, and you would still be praising yourself and that’s you know, that’s not right. And I think that we should really connect with ourselves when we do this. We should really connect to our pure true will when we do this and congratulate ourselves when we do something that is in accord with our true will. I know it’s vague and I know it’s difficult, but I don’t think that people would end up praising themselves for something that they deep down feel that is not right and that is not right for them. And the second thing is about you know what if you failed? All week you just failed at everything possible and you didn’t do one thing right. What do you do then with your gratitude practice? And I want to ask you know, what would you do with a friend that has failed? What would you say to them? Would you be like super hard on them and say that they’re a failure and that they were lazy they were just being lazy and they didn’t do things properly and they you know, stuff like that. Would you tell them this because if you would then you’re probably not that good of a friend. Just imagine what you would say to someone that has failed and that you really really love. You would say stuff like, you know you have been so brave for doing this even though you didn’t get to the result that you wanted and you have tried and I bet that you have learned something from it and that next time you will do better. But don’t think that the thing that you have tried to do was useless and that you shouldn’t have done it because it allows you to grow it allows you to see things from different perspectives and you will be stronger for it and you will be better for it because you have done it and because you have put the time and the effort into it. Another advice that I would give regarding this practice is don’t praise yourself for things that you have no control over or that you don’t cause basically. For example, don’t praise yourself and don’t validate yourself for being “beautiful”. You know you are so beautiful. You are so amazing or you are so smart. You are so intelligent and better than everybody else. Why would you praise those things? Like, it has nothing to do with you, you were just born this way. So I would say like don’t bother with that stuff in many cases is something that’s damaging to our psyche, and I have grown up with people telling me that I was beautiful and and very very smart and then I had to deconstruct all of that shit and focus more on the effort that I put into things. So try to focus on the thing that you have done during your week or your month, you know… You have studied so so hard and you have done this and you’ve taken this step and you have asked this person to stop bothering you. It’s so great. But don’t tell yourself that you’re great because you are you know good at math. Just naturally. Like that… that doesn’t help. I think you can see that that wouldn’t help anything because you already know that you are good at it and it’s not you know, it doesn’t have anything to do with you or the effort that you put into things. So yeah, this is it. I hope that this video was clear. I feel like this was very very long. I don’t know. I feel like I’ve talked for forever and I’ve made so many different points. So I hope that you’re not confused. But yeah, basically it’s about talking kindly to yourself and being supportive of yourself. So thank you so much for watching this one guys if you have made it until here. I just wanted to tell you that I also do tarot readings for now just in video format. So if you want to leave me some questions and some things to talk about with the tarot just you know DM me on Instagram. I think that’s the better way instead of leaving a comment that is very public. And I will kind of collect all the questions and make a video on them. So I also have a Patreon where you can donate if you like what I do, if you like my stuff, and I would really really appreciate it if you did donate. But if you can’t of course don’t. Please follow me on social media like Twitter and Instagram. Those are the ones where I am the most active especially Instagram, but Twitter as well. And yeah. Please subscribe if you like what I do and thank you so much for watching guys. See you in the next video. Bye. Bye

Author Since: Mar 11, 2019

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