The Ultimate Relationship Test: Game Night
-Welcome to “A Little Late
with Lilly Singh.” How you feeling?!
How you feeling?! [ Cheers and applause ] Well, I’m happy for you. But I gotta be honest,
I am struggling, because I had a rough night.
[ Audience awws ] something horrible happened. My friends and I had
a game night. [ Laughter ] Straight up, I have PTSD
from game nights. [ Laughter ]
It’s so bad, every time I even hear someone
yell “Yahtzee,” I hit the floor. Okay?
[ Laughter ] if you don’t know what
a game night is, it’s when you get together
with your loved ones, and slowly learn to hate them
over three hours. But as toxic as game nights
can get, my friends know
we just can’t stop. It’s like meth. At first, it’s the most fun
you’ve ever had. By the end, you’re missing teeth and all your friendships
are destroyed. Game nights remind me
of an Usher soundtrack. At first the night starts
great with ♪ Yeah! ♪ Then after I lose
for the third time, I’m like — ♪ Let it burn ♪ The next day starts with
♪ These are my confessions ♪ But instead of cheating on your
girl, you cheated at Scrabble. Also, everyone drinks way
too much at game night. It’s like we’re trying to hide
that we’re all alcoholics by playing Candy Land. But, yeah. No sober person
screams, “Mother [bleep] you skip me one more time, I will drop your body from
the top of Gumdrop Mountain!” [ Laughter ] [ Cheers and applause ] Don’t you love the invisible
hold me back? Like no one’s like… And no one’s holding. So if you’re going to play
a game when drunk, stick to the classics — Jenga, Connect 4,
Russian Roulette. [ Laughter ] Some of these games today
are so complicated. I don’t want to play Zaldur’s Palace: The Journey
to the Center of Quatar or whatever crap nerds play. If your game has a colon
in the name, the answer is no. my friend Humble —
Y’all know humble? -Whoo!
-Whoo! -Humble talks so much trash
when he plays. He always manages
to get under my skin. Just right under it.
He gets so far under my skin, people think he’s
an Indian woman. [ Laughter ] And look, trash talk is supposed
to be fun. But you never know what’s
really a joke at game night. You know what I mean?
Because people do crazy things. And then they follow it up with,
“I’m kidding!” Really? Are you kidding? How come I just dodged
a glass of wine? Chill! [ Laughter ] [ Applause ] Honestly, that’s really
hurting my arm. And the morning after
is always more awkward than seeing your teacher
at their second job. ‘Cause you gotta make amends! There should
an Edible Arrangement for poor sportsmanship. It seems like a nice gesture, but Humble will know
I’m still mad when he sees the only fruit
in there is cantaloupe. [ Laughter ] Game nights are the ultimate
test for any relationship. Not sure about
your significant other? Bring ’em to game night. That’s when you find
the weak links. Seriously, who wants to
procreate with someone who thinks the house you drew
was a cat? [ Laughter ] And don’t even bother
with couples therapy. Just go play one round
of Mario Kart. I’ve straight up dumped
a boyfriend because [chortles] he thought
he was gonna be Yoshi. [ Laughter ] True story.
If anyone else picks Yoshi, I just reset the system. I don’t care if it’s childish. It’s my version of self-care.
I’m Yoshi, y’all! All the time!
[ Cheers and applause ] Night and day. Did I just hear someone say
that they’re Yoshi? [ Laughter ] I’m Yoshi! Now I don’t know what it is
about game night that brings out the worst
in people. Like, everyone cheats at
Monopoly. But I kind of think that’s fine. In the real world, the only
people who have a monopoly are cheating on their taxes. and their wives. It is what it is. Also, the goal of monopoly,
if you think about it, is just gentrification. If you put hotels
on St. James Place, you know what you did! [ Laughter ] [ Applause ] There are so many different
types of Monopoly. There’s so many different
versions. But they haven’t come out
with an immigrant version yet. Which I think they need.
Like, you don’t pass go. You don’t collect $200. And everyone just goes
directly to jail.