Why Is Christmas Shopping So Hard?

-‘Tis the season…to stress out
about getting every single person and pet in your life the perfect gift,
am I right? Gift giving is supposed
to be about making people happy and showing them
how much you care about them. But, for me, it’s about winning. I’m determined to beat your mom for the most
thoughtful gift, okay? And I won’t be satisfied until
you’re bawling your eyes out over how touched you are. That’s my goal.
Yeah, that’s right. Straight up. I’m the type of person
that’s like, “Hey, remember that time,
you know, six months ago when you casually made a comment about loving
the band Nirvana? Well, I bought a sample of
Kurt Cobain’s hair and used it to clone him,
and now the band is reuniting. You’re welcome.
Suck it, friend’s mom! Suck it! Yeah!”
[ Cheers and applause ] Back in the day,
gifting was really easy. I feel like it was easier. You could always buy someone
a CD or a DVD, and they’d be happy. That’s not a thing anymore. Now they’d be like,
“Aww! You gave me garbage.” And if you’re really stumped, you can always buy them
a gift card, you know? The sweetest way to tell a loved
one, “I’ve given up. Here you go.” Gift giving is especially hard
when you’re dating someone, because in every relationship,
there’s one person who’s amazing at gifts and
there’s one person who sucks. They’re like,
“Hey, I got you Bubble Wrap. You know, because you love
popping the Bubble Wrap when you get a package.” And if you don’t know which one
of you is the Bubble Wrap in the relationship,
sorry to burst to your bubble — it’s you. It’s you. Yeah, she’s looking at you
for a reason, boo. It’s you. Also, if you just started
dating someone, never give them something sexy. No, no, no, no, no! Lingerie is a gift
for the person giving it, not the one getting it. No one unwraps a strappy piece
of lace and thinks, “Nice! I did need to floss my butthole.
Thank you. Thank you.” Family’s also tough to shop for. I feel like dads
are the hardest. Don’t you think? Dads just don’t want anything
that reminds them of their kids. If you could get your
dad anything, he’d probably just want
his life back, okay? And moms are even worse. My mom is always like,
“Lilly, I don’t want anything.” But then she gets so pissed if
I don’t get her anything. Suddenly, she’s like,
“Lilly, I told you, okay? The only thing I want is for you to stop doing that
dumb impression of me. My voice don’t sound
like that, okay? I don’t really sound like that.” Huh?! Huhhhh?! I hear you.
Mom, you know what? Maybe I’ll get that
for you next year. I really appreciate when people
wrap gifts for me, because growing up,
my parents — they didn’t put a lot of effort
into gift wrapping, okay? This is a true story. My mom used to just put
the Walmart bags under the tree, but still addressed from Santa. And here’s the thing —
I would still buy it. I mean, I figured
he’s a busy guy. He has lots of houses to visit. Maybe he didn’t have time
to wrap them. I mean, maybe I should have
known something was up when my mom would misspell his
name “Shanta” on the Walmart bags, you know? But I just really wanted
to believe, like when you buy a dress that’s
two sizes too small and you think, “It’ll fit once
I start working out.” You know, that same belief,
that magic, you know? Ugh! One day. Personally,
I love wrapping presents. It’s super-Zen to
carefully fold and tape and then silently fume
as you realize you cut the paper just
a little too short again. It never turns out how
I envisioned it, but every gift from me
is wrapped with blood, sweat and tears. Literally, because I got
six paper cuts doing this! Six! These days, my mom —
she does use gift bags. Yay, mom! Yeah!
[ Cheers and applause ] But now she hoards them,
you know? So if you give her a gift bag, she’ll hold on to it
for the next decade. Straight up. You’ll be getting married, and
she’ll hand you a bottle of wine in a Frosty the Snowman bag, just with a card that says
“from Shanta.”

Author Since: Mar 11, 2019

  1. Women like Lilly seem so regressive… like they are trying so hard to fit a stereotypical "feminine" role that just seem so fake and gross. I can't even enjoy this because the whole persona is just so superficial and tacky. ugh

  2. RT Audience: 22%
    IMDb Score: 2 / 10
    Yep — worst late night host/show ever created. Not funny, but fantastically bad (for what that's worth).

  3. Gift cards are there for the person who would rather buy their own gift because if you got them anything they will return it anyway so why not give them something they can use to get their own gift?

  4. Ur video's always makes me happy but now a days it's not working on me…i msg my crush mistakenly…n send him the conversation between me and my friends …not just once but three times …n he blocked me…..but u r doing a really good job i still adore u

  5. "Tis the season to stress out about getting every single person and pet in your life the perfect gift, am I right?"

    Audience fucking howls

    Makes sense.

  6. I love everything she does except the communication with the audience. Whenever she talks with a person from the audience, it feels like it was script. Like she know people will do after that joke those faces and she goes picking one of those faces. I wish she could do similar to what Ellen and Jimmy Kimmel do. Tbh Jimmy Fallon is worse than Lilly cause i barely see his audience

  7. That was IN FACT relatable and funny.. maybe not to the point of grinning and laughing out loud but it cracked a "yes exaclty" smile on my lips

  8. I just love what a strong will she has and how hard she works. People should keep in mind how difficult it is to stand in front of a camera and she just started, why do they expect her to be professional from day one. Ofc she feels proud of being the first indian to have a show in the US and she does a lot of comparisons between culturs but that's what we loved about her videos to begin with. Her showing the absurtities of her indian culture and those of the american people. You can't bring her down and that's why I admire her.

  9. This one especially is the REAL funny Lilly. That TRUE superwoman who make our stomachs hurt badly with laughter XD and made herself a place in our hearts. Keep shining Lilly

  10. β€β€β€πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ˜šπŸ˜šπŸ˜šπŸ˜šπŸ˜šπŸ’πŸ’πŸ’πŸ’πŸ’πŸ’šπŸ’šπŸ’šπŸ’šπŸ’šπŸ’žπŸ’žπŸ’žπŸ’žπŸ’žπŸ’žπŸ’›πŸ’›πŸ’›πŸ’›πŸ’›πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“

  11. I actually got bubble wrap for last christmas and I absolutely ADORED it. It’s an amazing tool against being nervous or emotionally upset and it can be a substitute for self harm, depending on which reason you depend on it πŸ˜‰

  12. Hey man I was never on the Lily Singh hate bandwagon or anything and I gave her show a fare chance. But this show isn't for me man, these jokes are so cringe and she's trying way to damn hard to be funny to the point where its hard to watch. Again I don't hate her but this shit is never going to get any better, especially when she keeps avoiding actual constructive criticism and calls it hate comments. She keeps doing that and keeps doing these lame ass jokes, it will never get better.

  13. Lilly's mom watching this, calling her up and giving her the Thanksgiving speech. Ref to Lilly's Thanksgiving video on main channel.

  14. This by far the best segment and monologue she’s done on this show yet! Kudos to Lilly for constantly improving, I’m so proud of her!

  15. Omg this was hilarious!!! Gift giving is the one thing I can confidently say I dominaaaate as well πŸ™‚ Putting that extra thought or going that extra mile gives me such a high! I’ve spent months on gifts, would love to take u up on a challenge some day πŸ˜›

  16. This is so on point as I’ve taken a break from wrapping and laughing while I’m staring at the gifts that took forever to wrap and I’m overthinking everything like I hope they love it, I hope they don’t have it, no they better be happy…will they be happy?! Lol oh gotta love the holidays lol

  17. The same people who laugh every time James Corden dresses as a woman or cracks a joke about his weight are saying this isn't funny. Comedy today means making jokes about yourself and how pathetic your life is so that the audience at home feel better about their lives. You're expected to do that with a straight face as well. Other late night hosts just fake it and people seem to enjoy it alot. As one of my fav YouTuber Stephen Tries said "What's funny about high self-esteem and low cholesterol?".

  18. I used to be called the amazing gift-giver…then my boyfriend got our dads, himself, and I Rolling Stones tickets (my dad and my FAVOURITE band) for Christmas for the Seattle show last summer. I got him some Fuzzy Peaches and some book he kept talking about. He gave me the best day of my life, I gave him…diabetes? Now I'm like…"so…do you like watches? Do you like pottery?" I've known him for 10 years and I can never repay that gift he gave me. The worst part is he is JUST SUCH A KIND AMAZING GUY so he doesn't care. He really loved the Fuzzy Peaches….

  19. Chill girl, what’s up? When Russell Peter talks about his parents, it was funny. You were telling the truth! I keep quiet & listen to your jokes. Have fun

  20. This is not even funny, I think she is just putting way too much effort in landing those jokes but what is ended up happening is a monologue / comedic piece that is just boring and lacks execution and just feels like a whole lot of dry humour.

  21. Me: remembers bf's interests & hobbies, buys smth related to that

    Bf: so uhh, what do you want me to get you?

    Love him to the moon & back, tho. ❀❀πŸ₯°

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